All that I Am
by Anawey
Summary: So, I was on devart, and I saw someone’s comment on how they would like to see fanfics with more of the whole Holmes/Aggie thing from CAM. wasn’t let out quite so soon, and Holmes completely breaks down. I planned to do this for a while, and here it is.


All that I Am

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So, I was on devart, and I saw someone's comment on how they would like to see fanfics with more of the whole Holmes/Aggie thing from CAM. I'd been toying with the idea of typing up such a story, and here it is. Maximillian wasn't let out quite so soon, and Holmes completely breaks down.

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Disclaimer; Nope, I don't own Sherlock Holmes. Doyle owns it, and the interpretation this story is based on belongs to Jeremy Brett, Edward Hardwicke, and Granada Television. Hopefully I won't make it too shoddy. I apologize in advance if I do, and, if I find no one likes it, I'll remove it (I know, I know, I have others I should be working on, but I gotta get out the plot bunnies some time. If I don't, they take over).

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And now, on to the story.

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God Help Me  
XxX

"_Are you a burglar?"_

His breath caught in that moment. His heart stopped, and his happy dream world of being a simple plumber in love with a housemaid shattered.

How could five words affect him so? Was he not a hardened detective? Didn't he shun the softer emotions? Wasn't he of a completely rational turn of mind?

If he was all these things, then why was he so undone by Aggie's simple question.

The answer was plain, and not that he was afraid because she'd hit the truth.

The answer was, he loved her.

The young – _So young, too young for me – _housemaid had reached a part of him even Irene Adler had not (Oh yes, however deeply they may have been buried, Holmes _did _harbor feelings for the singer; yet even they could not hold a candle's flame to what he felt around Aggie, and the truth of it was slowly killing him).

For the first time, he was ashamed for pulling such a cruel trick in a case. Never before had he felt scruples over doing what needed to be done. Never had he thought of the morals behind the means, for the end justified them.

Now, however, he found himself near to tears over leading along a mere servant girl.

"Oh, Aggie," he rasped, finding breathing suddenly such a chore. "You've….. t-touched.. my heart.."

This was not part of the act. No, those words should not have been said.

But what hurt more than admitting the truth of how deeply she'd reached him was her earnest, loving reply.

"I could make you a gift of mine."

A small whimper escaped him when Aggie pressed her lips against his, and he felt his control slipping even more.

God, what was he doing to this innocent, sweet little thing? He was _using _her, and it sickened him.

Before Holmes could think – stop himself – he was speaking again.

"No," he whispered. "Oh, don't, Aggie… Y… you don't know…"

As his voice trailed off into a quiet moan and he clenched his eyes shut, Aggie gently brushed her fingers over his cheek and forehead, smoothing back his ruffled hair.

She stopped for a moment, with her hand holding back the dark strands, and a comforting, encouraging smile, that held a slight bit of mischief, crossed her face.

"You know 'oo you look like, Ralfie," she said gently, looking to cheer him up. "You look like Mr. Sherlock 'Olmes wif your hair all pressed back like that."

Holmes paled.

_Oh, God, if she were to realize the truth…_

His head spun, and he prayed she would not realize the secret – that horrid secret that was killing him, and would surely destroy the innocence he saw in her eyes.

"Maybe you _are _Mr. 'Olmes, hey?" she laughed. "Maybe, you're 'ere on some case? May –"

Before she could finish her sentence, Holmes ripped away from her with a choked moan, unable to hold back the tears he didn't want to shed.

_How _could he have fallen into this? He wasn't supposed to develop _feelings _for the girl.

Oh, bah, how could he _not? _She was beautiful, trusting, intelligent, strong-willed. Certainly she was no delicate, scheming, high-born lady, who no more deserved the name than did a common garden snake.

He lay face down in the grass, trying desperately to regain control of himself, and completely failing.

Holmes heard Aggie move behind him, and then she was there, kneeling next to his head, one hand lightly rubbing his back as he fought to stop his tears.

"Ralf?" Aggie whispered, all laughter gone from her eyes, replaced with gentle concern. "I didn't mean to upset you. I thought you'd _like _hearin' you look like 'Olmes. He ain't 'alf bad lookin' 'imself, you know."

"Oh, Aggie, no," Holmes breathed, refusing to abandon the losing fight to reign himself in. Slowly, as though afraid, he looked up at her. "Oh, _dear _Aggie…"

He had not spoken with the voice of Ralf Escott, the plumber, but of Sherlock Holmes, the detective.

At Aggie's slow-encroaching look of understanding and disbelief, any pretense of fighting his emotions flew out the window, and he took hold of her arms.

"You don't understand!" he sobbed. "But you _must, _Aggie! Please! I- I never meant for….. for this, I –"

Anger flashed through Aggie's eyes.

"You meant t' _use _me," she snarled. "An' if you _are _Sherlock 'Olmes, you're the _most _awful man I ever met!"

He couldn't have felt more pain if she'd struck him.

"Listen first," he begged, his bragged-of senses far away. "Listen before you pass your judgment. I never meant to use _you, _Aggie. When I asked questions, _you _answered them."

Now there were tears in _her _eyes as well as his.

"So that's all I ever was, then?" she demanded. "A ready source of information?"

"_NO!"_

The violence of his cry was almost enough to bring his faculties back into order, but not quite.

"I _meant _what I told you, Aggie," he continued, voice quiet and unsteady. "Please believe that."

For a long moment, Aggie simply stared, her dark eyes searching Holmes's grey for some sort of answer.

Then Holmes slowly leaned forward – just a bit – question in his eyes, begging her permission. When she did not yell at him, or push him away, he closed the distance, catching her lips in a sweet, if inexperienced, kiss.

XxX  
Guys, if you don't like it, tell me, and I'll get it off of here, kay? Just, please be nice about it. I don't like yelling… And I know Holmes sounds really out of character here, but remember, he's not thinking straight. He basically couldn't stop himself. Not that he doesn't mean everything, he does, but under normal circumstances, he'd never say it like this.


End file.
